Happiness is Never Easy
by WhiteNoise 266
Summary: Ichigo had broken all three of those rules. Because he had, in fact, fallen in love with the blue haired bastard that was currently snuggling up to him as he most likely dreamt dreams of blood and gore and madness. And he couldn't just take it back. One-shot. OOC.


**So..this was done in one night while i had a sudden inspiration to write a scene with ichigo crying. I know i'm terrible. T-T I had this song on replay for the whole time I was writing this xP ah my brain is fried. Please do comment! Oh and I will update the other stories as soon as I can! I'm having a case of writer's block at the moment. Please forgive meeeeeeeeeee! X'D**

* * *

**Why do we sit around a****nd  
Break each others hearts tonight,  
Why do we dance around  
The issues till the morning light,  
When we sit and talk and  
Tear each others lives apart,  
You were the one to tell me go,  
But you were the one for me  
And now you're going through the door  
When you take that step  
I love you baby more and more  
We need to laugh and sing and cry  
And warm each others hearts tonight,  
Observing the fun of everything  
And loving all of mother God,**

**Tearing us, you're tearing us,**  
**You're breaking us, you're breaking us,**  
**Youre killing us, killing us,**  
**You're saving us, you're saving us,**  
**You're tearing us, you're tearing us,**  
**You're breaking us, breaking us,**  
**You're killing us, killing us,**  
**You're saving us,**

**-Serj Tankian, Saving Us**

* * *

Ichigo gasped and let his head fall back against the pillow as his orgasm racked through his body, moaning low in his throat when Grimmjow released inside of him. Grimmjow grunted and pulled out, leaving him feeling strangely hollow. Ichigo shivered and stared up at the ceiling, ignoring Grimmjow until he placed a chaste kiss on his cheek that stunned him.

To show tenderness was something he had never done. Ever. They had had a silent agreement during, and now after, the war that neither would ever be anything but fuck buddies. Neither would show any type of emotion towards the other and neither would fall in love with the other.

Ichigo had broken all three of those rules.

Because he had, in fact, fallen in love with the blue haired bastard that was currently snuggling up to him as he most likely dreamt dreams of blood and gore and madness.

And he couldn't just take it back.

No, he was cursed with this stupid thing called _love._

* * *

"_What are you doing?" _

_Ichigo flinched at the tone and backed away from the Espada, unwrapping his arms from around his neck._

"_I…nothing." he mumbled lamely, refusing to meet aqua blue eyes._

"_That wasn't nothing. You just fucking _hugged_ me."_

"_It was nothing okay! Just…drop it." _

_Ichigo's voice trailed off into a whisper. He could feel a burning sensation in the back of his eyes. _

_Grimmjow eyed him with suspicion. He wasn't one to just let things just slide. Even if he was considering it from the tone of Ichigo's voice. Even if that tone made his stomach twist into knots._

"_No." he growled_

"_Grimmjo-!"_

_Ichigo saw white lights when his head was slammed into the wall behind him, his wrists firmly held in Grimmjows grasp. "Why the fuck did you hug me?" growled Grimmjow low in his throat. _

_Ichigo looked at him with wide eyes before a dark scowl marred his face. He sighed once in defeat, knowing Grimmjow would get it out of him sooner or later. "Urahara told me that some soul reapers had found…" Ichigo swallowed convulsively before looking at the window behind Grimmjows head. "A dead hollow close to Karakura high school."_

_Grimmjows eyes widened a fraction as he realized that Ichigo had actually been worried about him. An emotion he had never felt before he had met Ichigo washed over him. He quickly hid it when Ichigo's eyes met his once more and covered it with a smirk. "Aw, was the strawberry worried for lil' ole me?" he sneered._

_Something cracked in caramel brown eyes that made Grimmjow almost regret his words, but then Ichigo scowled and managed to escape from the Panthers now loose grip to push him away. _

"_Forget it. I don't know why I even bothered." he bit out and walked away, leaving the Espada with his own turmoil thoughts._

Ichigo tried sighing but it came out sounding broken.

Grimmjow mumbled in his sleep and turned his back to Ichigo, stealing his warmth from him and leaving him numb.

Ichigo closed his eyes, willing the burning to go away but being the traitoroustears they where they welled up and spilled down his cheeks.

He didn't make a sound as he curled into a tight ball to try in a vain attempt to stop the numbness from spreading throughout the rest of his body.

"_Grimm…haaa…"_

"_Shit."_

"_Faster…please…" _

_Grimmjow complied with a sharp snap of his hips that made Ichigo cry out and the bed shake with the strain._

"_Yessss."_

"_Ichi." moaned Grimmjow as he felt the tightness in his gut that meant his orgasm was upon him. "Not yet." he growled._

_Ichigo whined and raised his hips to meet Grimmjows thrusts that escalated in speed before suddenly slowing down. Ichigo whimpered so pathetically he was surprised that Grimmjow didn't comment on it. Instead, Grimmjow wrapped his hand around Ichigos member, making him gasp. _

"_Naa…ah…haa." moaned Ichigo when the Espada twisted his hand in an expert motion. _

_Grimmjow lowered his mouth to Ichigos ear, his breath making him shiver. He thrust once, twice, deep inside of him before whispering "Cum for me Ichi."_

_Ichigo's eyes rolled in the back of his head as the words went straight to his dick before he cried out and saw white and red lights and felt hot cum splatter his stomach and Grimmjows hand._

_Grimmjow moaned loudly when Ichigo's silk walls clamped tightly around him and led him over the edge. He thrust shallowly a few times, riding out his orgasm before collapsing on top of the Substitute Soul Reaper and pulling him in for a sloppy kiss. _

_Ichigo pulled back to breath and shuddered when Grimmjow pulled out of him with a wet sound. He lay next to Ichigo, wrapping an arm around his hip and bringing him flush with his chest. Ichigo turned around to face Grimmjow and their eyes locked; sepia against cerulean. Ichigo closed his eyes, unable to stand the sight of his lover looking at him like he actually cared about him. Looking at him with soft, sleep hazed eyes that shone even brighter in the night. As if that were even possible._

_Instead, he crushed his lips to his in an almost desperate kiss that made Grimmjow's heart jump in his chest. Tongues collided with one another, tangling and then slowly caressing as the kiss grew slower and into something deeper and sweeter._

_Ichigo was the first to pull back, gasping for air as he did. Grimmjow pulled him in a for a shorter kiss, this one without tongue and grinned at him sleepily. _

_Ichigo almost cried right then at Grimmjow's content expression._

_Content. Relaxed. Carefree. Satisfied. Pleased. Happy._

Happy.

"_I…I think you should go." he said in a low voice. _

_Grimmjow's eyebrows went up before going down into a V to show his displeasure. "The fuck? I'm not fucking leaving Shinigami. I'm comfortable." he growled _

_Ichigo buried his head in Grimmjows neck so he wouldn't see his expression "Please. Just go." he whispered in a broken voice._

_The anger in Grimmjow's eyes died down when he heard Ichigo's roughened voice. He allowed his face to soften since the Shinigami couldn't see him but tightening his hold around the orange haired boy. _

"_I ain't goin' nowhere" he murmured, a finality in his voice that kept Ichigo quiet._

* * *

Grimmjow scowled when he felt cold air hit his bare body. He was about to reach blindly for a blanket when he felt the shuddering of a body next to his. Slowly, so as not to reveal his presence he turned his head and saw Ichigo curled tightly into a ball. He was shivering, no; _trembling_ with what at first he assumed was cold but was horrified when the first sob tore through his lover's body.

Ichigo sobbed quietly, trying to dispel the flood of emotions that hit him like a tidal wave.

He felt like he was drowning.

No, that wasn't right.

He _was_ drowning.

"Why? Why did I have to fall in love with you? Why couldn't I fall in love with a normal girl and grow up and have kids. Or fall in love with another boy? Or anyone else? Some random person that wasn't _you. _You. You who fucking wanted to kill me so bad in the beginning and probably still do. You who had to come in with his stupid bluntness and idiocy and recklessness and burning eyes. It's not _fair." _whispered Ichigo in a broken sob, unaware that Grimmjow had heard everything.

Said man felt like his world just shattered around him and left him in an empty field that sickly reminded him of Hueco Mundo. And then the next words that fell out of the Shinigami's mouth had his world ever so slowly start to piece itself together as his whole being sighed heavily with relief.

"But I can't help but still love you."

Ichigo's only warning that the blue haired man had heard everything was a low rumble before he was flipped over to look at Grimmjow with wide shocked eyes.

Grimmjow's eyes burned.

Burned brighter than they _ever _had.

So much that Ichigo felt like his body had just burst into flames but when he looked down he saw he was still intact.

"You're so stupid Shinigami." smirked Grimmjow.

Ichigo flinched as the supposed insult pierced his chest but froze when the Espada's hand gently caressed his cheek with such a soft, strange expression on his face that it made his whole body tingle and his heart lurch painfully. He had never seen that face on the violent Espada before but he couldn't stop the pathetic hopeful expression on his face from surfacing up.

"Because I love you too."

Ichigos eyes filled with tears. Grimmjow could only stare at him in stupid bewilderment when Ichigo buried his face in his neck and let the tears fall.

"What? Why the fuck are you crying!? I just told you I loved you asshole! You should be happy!" said Grimmjow in angry astonishment that shattered the mood.

Ichigo laughed at Grimmjow, happy that he was still his old self even after saying those three sweet words.

There it was again.

Happy.

_Happy._

"Oh, now you think it's _funny? _I should fucking-"

Ichigo shut him up with his lips. "Grimmjow. _Shut up_._" _murmured Ichigo against his lips.

Grimmjow scowled but kissed him back.

They both sighed when tongues touched, embracing each other languidly as if they had the whole time in the world. The kiss, though slow, was heated and filled with the passion both had been unable to express for the other.

This time, Grimmjow was the first to pull back. He smirked when he noticed that Ichigos cheeks and nose were smeared a light pink, highlighting the cinnamon freckles that sprinkled over the bridge of his nose.

"Love you, you stupid shit head."

"Aw, I love you too you fucking asshole."

Grimmjow snorted with laughter.

"What?"

"Nothing. I just realized something."

Ichigo looked up at him with warm coffee eyes that reflected the huge weight that seemed to have been lifted off his shoulders. He felt so light he was amazed he hadn't fucking flown out of the window and up into the sky or some other shit like that.

"Wha'd you realize."

Grimmjow smiled at Ichigo and kissed him lightly on the lips, never wanting to let go of the man he had hated, put up with and then come to love.

"That we're gonna be okay."


End file.
